Propagate

from Head Above Tide by Jason Vitelli

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lyrics

I pay for my bliss
In self loathing emptiness
In alienation, in loneliness

I pay in bewildered stares
In lovers without a care
I pay in credit charges and straight cash

I pay in a loss of intimacy
Lost in expectations
I pay in endless explanations
And reasons to speak out for myself
For myself

‘Cause the world doesn’t understand
That no one will take my hand
And I pay for my dearest wishes
With the next tidal hit
Swelling from my trail of tears

I’m pulled by an undertow
So fierce with ire
That it leaves me threadbare, shirtless and tired

And although those ships sail on
Those that are not inspired
Their insipid surf extinguishes my hell
Hellfire

‘Cause the world doesn’t understand
That no one will take my hand
And I pay for my dearest wishes
With the next spiteful slap
Shaking my bowing knee caps

We pay for our bliss
In the hot nights and anxious cold sweats
In the times I need an unconditional kiss
From you

But you want me to be prejudiced
To love you more than I love myself
To covet your kisses and spend all my wishes
At the jeweler for your diamond necklace

Until I turn out a bullied old man
Spending all his change on the little grandchildren
Who follow in the footsteps of my forgone freedom
“Was it worth it, was it worth it?” I ask my flaccid libido
“Did I propagate the race, propagate the family name?”


Lyrics © 2017 Jason Vitelli

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from Head Above Tide, released January 17, 2018

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