Confluence

by Jason Vitelli

1.
Wait, don't laugh; I'd like to enlighten you Look upon my eyes Can't you see it's raining inside my mind? Thoughts were once filled with my life's song A song that you've never known And now that I grabbed your attention Would you kindly care to mention Why have I followed you so near Wasted the mere breadth of countless years? Couldn't you have stopped me before I knew That this cumbersome side would soon show through? Instead of extending a hand of sympathy A spiteful smile slowly spreads from ear to ear 'Cause all your lost trials And the things that had made you so sick you couldn't stand up straight Now fill you with a righteous pride You're teeming with a hate that cannot be staved You won't be saved and I won't behave so I walk away I balk from your disgrace And I want you so but can't be near you anymore These thoughts they must subside and I must move on with my life There's so much more to pine than chasing my desire Unrequited desire Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
2.
Seems I’m back to where I began Thought that fortune has left my hand Many moments gone since I wrote But it's been all too long since I’ve spoken What has happened since that yesterday When I sung the lines from two years ago today? Can I trust it this time? Had to slough away a stifled skin To creep my way around this pen again To find out how much more I need to say Instead of just running away Like returning to a sad old friend Who’s not fickle with an ear to lend Can I trust it this time? Told my story yet, have I still more to tell? Mind's falling from the weight of lies caught between time Just a pile of words I am Decaying from disuse and approaching despair Grown weary of the sound of my voice But I have no choice Have to write me down once more Filling up an emptiness Harrowed lines detailing an existence Likely to unfurl the blight That was well hidden from your reckoning eye With lights gleaming off the glassy reflections Of newly minted rhyme I turn the past inside out Once sightless and submerged Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
3.
Alarm has rung its fatal suite It’s begun again Drown a sole forlorn refrain Every time I miss a beat It calls my name, hears a lie Falling back on top again Second hand's an hour fast It’s waiting for me to turn from its past The chimes won’t ever cease Their purpose is blind and there is no release Why can’t I see what’s happening? The stolen time makes it hard for me to breath Looking through rusty windows It's begun again What was new is now begone As your scent of summer skin Painful splits, pare me up Into pieces of has-been Garbage heaps in the streets Containing the objects that once were of need Tourniquet then stops the flow Half eaten rinds lay within the falling snow Why can’t I see what’s happening? The cold inside caps a landfill within Spirit sun take me above I’m running from oscillations underground Floating past rotting entrails of worry Particles ailing me; concrete pulverize me Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
4.
Patience never bid me well Shoves me to a corner No response; must call on her And make this time illuminate I’ll make it shine for free Will she shine for me? And maybe I’ll discover once in a while A little piece of heaven latent in a smile And maybe I could wrench free any moment I wish Box it up; put it in the best suit I can find While pacing to and fro Decide to take a shower Spindly cold does not bother Razor clears my scuffed malaise She’ll make me into Remus Could she be my Venus? And maybe this will all last more than a day And a little piece of treasure will surface in our wake And maybe I could wrench free any moment I wish Box it up; put it in the best suit I can find Maybe this will all last more than a day And a little piece of treasure will surface in our wake And maybe I’ll discover once in a while A little piece of heaven latent in a smile And maybe I could wrench free any moment I wish Box it up; put it in the best suit I can find Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
5.
I made a promise to you and I don't even know why But I saw your reflection in the window pane crying out It said "It won't be long; I'll sing my song" But just the same, you're not who you are supposed to be What did I say; what did I do wrong? Did I write too many love songs and not make a point to be strong And to belong to myself instead of belonging to someone else? Wait until the day is done; you won't fight anymore Look inside, see you're alive and that's all you need to know The fear beside you is soaking wet Filled with the tears of yesterday's regret As you pour the strife into a lonesome well It comes to your senses that you'll never be alone Oh you never will be alone So you pour your heart into a savior Be it truth or God or love or the music that plays you And the sky will open wide And tears roll down your smile And you'll curse the day you kept you inside You kept you inside So don't you fret, oh no Just sing to me again Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
6.
A painted rose, an ivory coast Rolling hills, sand polished stones Why haven’t we noticed this before? Seems like it’s always been so barren and low It’s like we discovered a new taste Silly grins jumping through sea sprays It’s like I had no sense of my own And all these pitches rose until they bled through my nose Garbled grunts As a bear fishes the floodplain soul And those spotted snails and gypsy moths Washing over the kale leaves We’re up upon a spiral jet Of this coursing, fervid river inlet It’s like our purposes are so clear and demure And no more Than just sitting here Feeling the moist soil upon our pores I’ve been unlocked and I’m now careening Twirling beyond the confines of Bowie’s maze Before was just a phase As I pour my eyes into a paper cup, they smile up Say it out loud and scream and shout; sorrows are falling from me I say it out loud and scream and shout; sorrows are falling from me I say it out loud and scream and shout; sorrows are falling Say it out loud and scream and shout! Say it out loud and scream and shout! Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
7.
He sits in a chair, looking so spare Drinking some lemonade in the moonlight air Gazes at the blade he set upon my kin The ground glistening their sordid end I am calm as I lay beside his path With a notion to ambush a man savoring his wrath Reverse my course as thoughts start to flood Memories remind me I was once so pure Had enough steam for a million dreams Now where can they be? Step beneath a fountain to wash away soot Gathered from my escape route But an infection resides just under my skin Endless turmoil turns innocence gangrene Any earnest expectations have gone to seed I've always been just like him With contempt for those who win So where do I go from here? It's my move now; nothing else remains But to crawl back in haste, where my enemy awaits Dripping all over I grab him by the nape Knifing a slice, a big happy face Ripping flesh ear to ear all over the place Streams of him wasted mix with the shards of glass and lemonade And it tastes so sweet as I lie down to dream Upon the concrete, I lie down to dream "Ain't life sweet?" I say as I lie down to dream Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
8.
Working, a-working, a-working all day long Fingers missing nails, teeming with toil One shouldn’t be alone When walking toward the bedroom door Age reeks through the bones Parasites turn tissue into dung Body wrinkles up, eyelids so heavy Sallow skin and bones, fingers decaying You were once a towering tree Now you're just mulch and weeds And you just sit there wondering "Can I be happy?" Countless calculations, crunching lines Bring a salary, some kids, a wife Steam runs out the chimney The intercourse brings heat to all in need Growing stronger every day Does meaningless work turn to meaningful play? Body wrinkles up, eyelids so heavy Her arthritic hands, they don't look so pretty You both were once as sharp as knives Now you're picking up each other’s lines You just sit there wondering "Can we be happy?" I’m vying to be cured of this working disease Would anyone care; does anyone care to join me? I say does anyone care; would anyone care to join me? Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
9.
Picturing you sitting in the living room A sense of gloom in that emaciated chair An overcast sky supplies the light for you And my hands on knees, I’m begging please What do I need to do to please you? I need you Stirring the storm, the misty lows Showering batters the pane glass windows I look toward eyes so ossified I thought I saw upon them a smile It's just a quick and easy fix To a lost and rusty time A rival is beyond the door He was my friend ages ago And he understood the reasons behind this game And it's painful to know that it was me and not him That became the roaming soul behind sand and glass In perfect isolation so I have neither/nor As the showering batters and the thundering roars I look toward eyes so ossified I thought I saw upon them a smile It's just a quick and easy fix To a lost and rusty time Remembering when this was all an accident Pilfering truth to hold onto your innocent sin And say all of this, fantasize, yet my cries Are a fruitless labor to bring you and him back to life And as the storm is realized Torrents paint the rooftops red Swerving their colors grey That was once to all such a glorious day I look toward eyes so ossified I thought I saw upon them a smile It's just a quick and easy fix To a lost and rusty time Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
10.
Wait for a second; wait another second It’ll be just a moment But can never seem to get this right I won’t be alive; I won’t be alive I sit here and bide my time But it's not easy to stand naked I won’t be another wasted life Generated by anxiety But my way doesn’t pave a way Toward any sort of possibility So I slide on by And I want you as mine And I try and I try But the minutes are like fire I sit by the phone and say that it's OK A mantra fed existence Pouring out of a starving heart But the ringing in my head rings true And it shivers down my spine I never felt so out of sorts Driven mad by a singularity Connection bursts me through the lines My lips worn icy chapped now are moist Color flushes into my face; I cannot think straight It was my sigh of relief that pulled apart my insides Revealing some sort of shape for here and now existing again And the voices that sped my turbines to feverish pitch Now sing to me such soothing whispers Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
11.
Spinning wheels, covered carts Colored with line art Spitting coal, a traveling circus mall Could it be any trouble at all? Bearded ladies, contortionists Blurring the past into present tense The glorious burning presence Acrobatics, mirrored glass Bodies mangled by sleight of hand Three armed shaman juggling sacks Dour Latin crosses pagan charm Such an enticing series of games Throwing night into the day Roaming droves with homes unknown These gypsies fly through deserted time Into deserts, cacti needles puncture The thoughts that pride had long solidified Whisking the townsfolk in wondrous sight Lifting their grounding through perilous flights Turning taboo into such glorious insight Insight Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
12.
She thought I found the way to her home Through the naked room Her kind eyes shining upon the hearth Instead I made it up and said it would be alright But it’s not alright; it’s not alright No Took the scissors off the shelf I took a stab at my vein Took it out in the same way I cut her blind all the while Her empty porch still lit as I walk down the road I’m swaying back and forth Strong gales pitching rocks at my mug I know I don’t belong here no more No more Took a left at the ridge Keeping to the lines in the highway I don’t know which way to turn But my steady gaze endures past the shame Yet I trip through her malice Borne in lieu of the love I could never return Can’t return Smoke signals to the next town as the sun’s rising up Her eyes a single speck upon the event horizon Could only picture a spring when times were so right And the leaves were all green And we were dancing in the streets And she was smiling at me She was smiling at me Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
13.
If I could burnish the sky With your smile tonight It would be a guide for me Upon the circuitous River Nile As I am running away from the evils in the fray And I’ll be free, in a way, in a way From the crying of the miscreants aloft Through the spirals off another tide On I row upon your starlight Emerge from the south lands Safely flow through the canyon's pass Forgetting oceans by and by Amazed at what's come to fly If we are running away From a desperate war they wage Will we be free? In a way, in a way Though the monsoons could disturb our perfect sleep We'll cast them aside for a better day to keep In a place with landscape set so far beneath Will the reaches of our former ties Betray our time living asunder? As we’re thrown headlong into the turbulence Have we brought it upon ourselves? This river surges, swallows our weary sighs Embodying strife, those waves so far behind We are running away from a world that can't be tamed And we’ll be fine anyway, anyway Beyond the white water, I can behold a calmer sea As your shimmering cascades brighten my day Show me the way Show me the way Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
14.
Stay away from the words that mean so much That broke her spirit when you stole them away As your bodies entangle so close Can you contain the rhythms that will be In step to some new fashion? You "lie" there accursed and all too aware Of the revelation that overcame you last Sunday afternoon In the coffee shop Couldn’t tear yourself from such hourglass curves Striking eternal time; you stopped on a dime Wantonness can enable a natural unrest Gripping the loins so hard That a cast iron will couldn’t tear it loose And what was said before is last week’s news As you defile, you desecrate; you set the bait While fishing around for the next muse So stay away; you make it rain till the tide overflowed reason! Glance at the girl over at the kiosk looking so fine Flying away on a jet plane to God knows where Catch her pants; see her outline of fleshy taste So make haste to the moment that ripens with delight After you trouble to pick up her number Dominos in your head tumble into dread For the outpourings of your heart that unfurled intense devotion Instead betray a lecherous duplicity So what is real? Where does fate bring tomorrow When neither does answered your call? And what does a conscience harbor When no regrets taint it at all? Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
15.
I recall so many places ago When endless thoughts churned so slow I was stuck in a grind Oh yes, I was stuck in a grind Rhyming the same old line all the time A circle of crime Aching with all the hopes and the love All the hopes and the love I've never known But now I'm here with you My friends, my tribe, my home Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
16.
You’ll feel better when you’re sleeping You’ll feel better when you’re eating The words you tried so hard to keep down And you’ll never know when they’ll next come around May patience always keep you in line And when in doubt you’ll feel better next time Run baby run, Hold back those tears and the needs you will shun Run baby run, How could you allow your freedom to be sold out? You'll feel better when you’re choking Upon those leers of fear and loathing You’ll feel better when you’re dying Nailed to your losses should they find you writhing And I don’t know if I can stay any longer When all I’ve tried to do was make you stronger May patience always keep you in line And when in doubt you’ll feel better next time Run baby run, Hold back those tears and the needs you will shun Run baby run, How could you allow your freedom to be sold out? How can you feel better When you’re leaving your love behind The joys you once knew And the days you thought you could never lose? Oh run, run baby run And how can you believe your freedom is still gone? Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli
17.
I pick up a small token and now can remember We made it rain whenever we wanted it to Those mystic clouds ran in sheets of whitest heaven We thought they washed away the blood from bruise But empty houses instead lie in pledges of allegiance With pitted roofs sinking deeper every year The faded newsstand still sits near our old cement stoop Front of Sammy’s Pool, full of the same old fools We’ve risen on but are drifting aground Falling in the shoes they thought that we could fill But I look inside, see those tossed candy wrappers and rhymes And the burnt fuse that tore us apart in two A clearing shows itself as the western front peals on through Throwing silver moon upon all those dusty old bar stools The forgotten parlor briefly becomes a disco lit haven But tall, tangled weeds soon entomb that view I run that track all the way back from the Pine Hollows I fly past all the fights, all the games, all the laughs we could have ever made And I push myself so hard that I fall to my knees Start coughing up years of reality Knowing who had lit up that fuse We’ve risen on but are drifting aground Falling in the shoes they thought that we could fill But I look inside, see those tossed candy wrappers and rhymes And the burnt fuse that tore us apart in two I sit down on the curb and turn halfway around See your American reflection dancing on the ground Scorning and taunting, so bereft of hope Your shadow's falling over miles of stone But we had lost each other long ago While riding the back trails that borne our former suburban home Never to be seen again So shall I extinguish your spectral grin? We’ve risen on but are drifting aground Falling in the shoes they thought that we could fill But I look inside, see those tossed candy wrappers and rhymes And the burnt fuse that tore us apart in two Lyrics © 2011 Jason Vitelli

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Purchase at www.soundkeeperrecordings.com/confluence.htm

© 2011 Jason Vitelli / © 2011 Maquiladora Music (ASCAP)
℗ 2011 Soundkeeper Recordings

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released November 23, 2011

Jason Vitelli: vocal, acoustic and electric guitar, piano
Dave Ramsay: piano, electric guitar
Jiliane Russo: cello
Qun Ma: french horn
Kathrine Becker: celeste
Olivier Prud'homme: bass guitar, electric guitar
Yorgos Maniatis: drums
Cherette Lewis: backing vocal

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Jason Vitelli New York, New York

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